A new year is a great time to try something new. New experiences means
changes, and change is essential for personal growth. You can either do
something that you have never done before, or do the same things in a new
manner. It could be as simple as taking a different route as you commute
from home to work or trying out a new beverage at your favourite café.
Trying new things can broaden your exposure and enrich your life. But why
do people stick to the same old stuffs over and over again? What prevents
them from breaking out of the norm and do something different?
Some call it fear of change, and others call it fear of uncertainty. As
human beings, we naturally like a sense of familiarity. Even the most
adventurous person enjoys comfort and security. The difference is that for
the adventurous, the desire for growth outweighs that for safety. In the
context of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, safety addresses our lower
order needs for survival and sense of security and belonging while growth
satisfies our higher order needs of self-esteem and self-actualisation.
While it may seem that some people are more willing to take risk than
others, all of us have the capacity to take some risk. However, the degree
of risk is a matter of perception, relative to an individual’s hierarchy
of values. For example, public speaking can be taken either as a
threatening experience where one’s reputation is at stake or a great
opportunity to share one’s opinions and knowledge with a large group of
people. While both views can be equally valid, the speaker’s experience
during the speech would be determined by his higher order concern. Is it
to preserve one’s self-esteem by appearing confident and competent, or to
express oneself freely by speaking spontaneously?
The constant tension between safety and growth is an integral part of how
the mind functions. Understanding the underlying mechanics that drive our
behaviours allows us to take better control of ourselves. Fundamentally,
we are programmed to express our highest values. What matters most often
gets done first. Once we figure out our hierarchy of values, choosing the
actions which are aligned to the higher priority matters becomes easy.
Being courageous is simply about choosing what is more important,
something that we do well at naturally. The fears that keep us from acting
and trying something new become readily overcome. As Leonard Zunin said,
“I believe that courage is all too often mistakenly seen as the absence of
fear. If you descend by rope from a cliff and are not fearful to some
degree, you are either crazy or unaware. Courage is seeing your fears in a
realistic perspective, defining it, considering alternatives, and choosing
to function in spite of risks.”
So, what matters more to you right now, is it growth or safety? When in
doubt, just do it. Give it a shot, for the best way to find out if
something works for you is to try! If it does, great! If it does not work
out, learn a lesson and move on. Either way, you get some new experience
and grow along the way!