Is Life A Game? by Kenny Toh, March 2004

Although we all live in the same physical world, sharing the same time and space, how we experience life is strictly shaped by our own set of beliefs and the lenses through which we see what is happening. When someone that we know dies, what does it mean? What do we experience? We could grieve the loss. We could be happy, in that their sufferings had ended. We could be indifferent, in that death is an expected event anyway, and should not come as a surprise.

I think there is no universal truth about what life is all about. It is entirely up to us. And we are free to change our views about what it is or what it is not. I would like to approach life as a game.

To understand life, we first need to understand what we mean by a game. A game is something that we play. Some people play to win. Some play simply for the sake of playing, where winning or losing does not matter. Some do both. A game is fun. A game has rules. And a game has an objective. A game may be played alone, or with other players. A game is played out in some space, on a field, over a period of time.

The game of life begins when we are born, and ends when we die. The field on which we play this game is the world we live in. The objective or ultimate goal is what we set out to achieve for ourselves. We win if the objective is met when the game is over. We lose if it is not. The reward for winning is the state of fulfilment at the time of death. Without a goal, life ceases to be a game. Without a goal, we stop playing, and end up on the sidelines, watching others play. When we stop playing, we are indeed already dead. We become living corpses, observing and talking about others' games, lamenting how our lives are empty and meaningless while others' are exciting and colourful.

In this game, we make up our own rules. We might decide that we shall not knowingly cause any harm to another, as we play the game. We might decide that we will do whatever it takes to win. We might even divide the game into stages, and apply a different set of rules at each stage. These rules become our internal guidance system, and set the boundaries for our actions. They govern what we should or should not do.

To play a game well, we need strategy and tactics. Marathon runners do not win simply by running. Soccer teams do not win simply by kicking the ball. So is life. Having a strategy enhances our ability to attain our goals, and win the game.

A game has an opponent. In this game, the opponent is the self. Keeping up with the Joneses is a classic way of playing against someone else, only to lead to the inevitable realisation that such a game is futile and meaningless. When you play against someone else, you are not playing your game of life. In this game, the outcome is that either you win, or you lose. Whether others win or lose is their business, not yours.

The game begins when we are born. While we may be conscious of it then, we are already playing it naturally when we are young. As a child, we simply wake up to a beautiful day, and play. We begin by playing alone. As we grow, and befriend other children, we begin to enjoy their company. Still, we play our own games, while sharing the same playing room. Next, we begin to play with other kids. And gradually, we learn that when others win, we lose. We acquire the need to compete. When you are the only child, being first and being last is indifferent. But when you have a sibling, your being first means your sibling is second, or last. A race begins, which later translates into a rat race that we get caught in when we are adults. In that race, we end up playing someone else’s game, and forget to play our own.

Well, if life is a game, then my game looks like this ...

The objective of my game is to live in a manner such that I will die in peace, knowing that I have led a meaningful and fulfilling life. This game is played through giving and receiving. Whatever I give, I receive. The more I give, the more I receive. When I cease giving, I cease receiving. The strategy is to remain engaged in meaningful and fulfilling activities at all times, while continuing to dream and embark on new endeavours that will bring greater meanings and fulfilment in the future. The tactics include acquiring the necessary skills to live my dreams well, and inspiring others to join my cause such that I can contribute to humanity in a greater way than that I can do alone.

If life is a game, then playing is the only way to truly live. Playing means being in action out there in the field, striving to meet the objective of the game, within the rules that are applicable. Strategising and analysing is not playing, but merely preparation for playing. Executing our tactics is playing. Deliberating endlessly on whether we should or should not follow our hearts and pursue our passion is not playing. Taking the first step into the direction of our dreams is playing.

Indecision and procrastination are two of the most common phenomena that keep us from playing our games. Indecision puts us on time-out. Procrastination puts us on eternal suspension. To get back into the game, we need to be decisive, action oriented and time sensitive. Remember, the game may be over anytime from now. Do not take for granted that you will have all the time in the world to accomplish your goal. While it is essential to strategise, and analyse past games such that you learn and grow, do strive to be in action most of the time. You do not wish to be caught by surprise, that when your time is up, you are still planning the game from the sideline.

So play your game, and enjoy. Playing is fun. And if you are not having fun with life, you are not playing. You are probably trying too hard to play, and struggling to live. Always have your goal in mind. Master the rules. Know your opponent. Know yourself. Acquire the essential skills. Have a strategy.

Get out there and play, for if life is a game, what else should you do?

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