CHOICES
by Kenny Toh, April 2005
Most people live their
lives as if they do not have a choice on how their lives could be lived. What
if they do have a choice? How would life turn out to be?
After several decades of
being a student of life, I finally realized the path to living a full life lies
simply in how we make the choices in our life. Most people are not aware
of the choices they have, and therefore fail to assume the responsibility for
making them.
The truth is that we
make choices all the time. The choices we make in the past are the causes of
the effect that we are experiencing right now in the present. Similarly, the
choices we make in the present shape our future. We simply cannot not make
choices. Even refusing to choose is a choice.
By far, the most
important choice that you have, is the choice of your thought. What do you
choose to think about?
Think about this for a
moment …
“Can anyone take
my freedom of thought away from me?”
This is simply a
reminder of what you probably already knew a long time ago. Now that you are
aware of the freedom you have always had about the choice of your thought, what
do you choose to do about it? Non-thinking or abdication of thought is also
choice. It is a choice to surrender our thoughts to some external sources of
influence. Perhaps it is easier not to think for ourselves, and let someone
else do the hard work. Guess we who gets to live with the consequences?
Now, can you imagine
what your life could be with the choices that you already have? Life might have
dealt you a deck of cards, but how you play the game is entirely up to you.
You can choose your
thoughts. And through your choice of thoughts, you shape your emotions. For
those who habitually say, “I cannot control my feelings”, try taking charge of
your thoughts. Be aware of your emotions, and choose the appropriate thoughts
that will steer you to a more desirable experience.
You can choose what
success means to you? Is it about doing what you love? Is it about being happy?
Is it about enjoying a good life? Is it about having immense wealth? Is it about
being a role model to your children? Until you choose your own meaning of
success, how would you know if you are successful or not?
You can choose
your beliefs? A belief is simply what you accept to be true. There are many
ways through which one adopts a belief. We could adopt a belief to address a
fear or to fulfill a need. We often believe something after being shown the
evidence or reason. Sometimes, we could simply take on a belief out of choice.
Would you rather believe that you are born with the ability to love
unconditionally, or that loving is a new skill that you need to learn over time?
Which is more empowering to you?
What do you
have to believe to get the outcome you want? What disempowering beliefs can you
choose to discard? What do you believe about yourself that is holding you back
from living the life of your dreams?
You can choose your
values? What’s important to you? What do you care deeply enough that would move
you into action? How does knowing what is important to you make a difference on
how you would choose to live your life?
You can choose a view on
what life is all about. What is the metaphor for life that is meaningful and
empowering to you? Is life a game, a journey, or a holiday? What if it is game?
What is your game about? Are you having fun? Are you getting too serious about
it?
You can choose the people with whom you wish to have a relationship. There are
over six billion people in the world we live in today. There are those who
matter, and those who do not. You can choose to channel your attention to the
former, and minimize distraction from the latter. Your time on earth is
finite. Wouldn't it be wise to spend more of it with people that you care
deeply about.
You can choose
your passion. Passion is the fuel for action. Wherever your passion lies, your
actions will follow naturally. What are do you want to be passionate about?
You can choose your
dreams. What do you intent to experience? Stop living other people’s dreams and
start living out your own. Your dreams are the essential seeds of what is
possible for you in the future. What seeds do you need to plant now so as to
reap the harvest you desire in time to come?
What is the difference
between a choice and a decision? This sounds almost like asking for the
difference between the heart and the mind. Choice is the cornerstone of living
with freedom, free from reasons or excuses. Decision is an outcome from
reasoning (although at times the lack of it). Although they function quite
differently, they are both powerful tools that could transform lives.
A decision requires
considerations and reasons. But when we make a choice, we act from a space that
is pure and devoid of rationale. From there, reasons are unnecessary. I invite
you to play with the choices that you have … and observe how those choices shape
your experience of this miraculous thing we call LIFE.
So, WHAT IF you do
have choices .... ?